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Step 1: Claim to have genetic proof that Bigfoot is real and is “… the result of males of an unknown hominin species crossing with female Homo sapiens”, submit genomic analysis to peer-reviewed journal.

Step 1a: When Step 1 fails and that paper is rejected by actual journals, start your own journal in order to publish said results. Cite television series “Monster Quest” … obviously.

Step 2:  …

Step 3: Await phone call from Nobel Prize committee.

Here’s what geneticists have to say about the “research” in the “paper” done by the “scientist”. Ars Technica looked at some of the DNA claims and either this paper has invented a new arm of biology or someone drank too much of the lab ethanol before doing the analysis. Michael Eisen created a bioinformatics tool that lets you calculate what percentage Sasquatch you are based on the paper’s data. One geneticist on Twitter analyzed some of the data and found DNA sequences from human, cat, rhesus monkey, horse and panda. The “researcher” in question has a Facebook page that you can go visit if you’re in the mood to feel bad for someone.

I’m just glad that we’ve cured antibiotic resistant superbacteria and can finally cure all the different kinds of cancer so we have time to spend talking about this stuff!

You can't make this stuff up . . .

From a website called “DNA Perfection”, where you (yes, YOU!) can be trained to access superhuman abilities by opening up ten additional “ethereal” DNA strands.

Oh, and kids with AD(H)D are just steps ahead of everyone else.

Most people know that DNA is the ‘blueprint of life’ and is located in every cell of the body. In addition to each chromosome 2 strand double helix of DNA, there are an additional 10 etheric strands of DNA available to each human, which have been dormant since the beginning of recorded history. Each additional strand possesses attributes that permit the individual to perform greater human accomplishments. Scientists acknowledge that we currently only use 3% of our current 2 strand DNA. Thus we live in a society where people are sick, unhappy, stressed out, create wars, have difficulty experiencing love, and are totally disconnected with the universe. Most people have to meditate for many years just to have a so-called ‘mystical’ experience, that’s how disconnected we are now. Imagine activating 100% of your 2 strand DNA, PLUS 10 additional strands! You will go from using 10% of your brain to becoming a multi-dimensional being with psychic, telepathic, and manifestation abilities beyond anything you’ve ever dreamed of. Plus, you will stop the aging process and actually start to rejuvenate to look and feel YOUNGER. This is the Original Divine Blueprint, what man USED to be. It has been written that Jesus had 12 strands of DNA activated. There have been children born throughout the history of humanity to raise the frequency of the planet that have more than 2 strands of DNA active - they are known as Indigo children. These are the incredibly intelligent, loving, and amazing children that are being mistakenly diagnosed as having A.D.D. because they are too smart to pay attention in class. Your DNA is your blueprint of life and is what controls every single function inside each of your cells. If you change your DNA, you really will change your life.